Lets talk about the shirt. You know the one. That skintight shirt in the back of your closet that you save for Fridays and days you wake up feeling extra lean. THAT shirt.
For me, the shirt is a bright pink V-neck shirt I’d bought during my half-year employment with Gap Outlet. It was on clearance, which is the main prerequisite I considered when purchasing clothing at that time. It was skintight, definitely made of the stretchy moisture-wicking material that athletic clothes these days are made up of. Looking back, I definitely wasn’t on any sort of a mission for fitness at the time. In fact, my days at Gap were fueled by fast food, Venti Starbucks Frappuccino’s, and candy from the vending machine in our crowded break room. I’m still not sure exactly why I bought the shirt. What was I expecting to wear it with? It must have been REALLY marked down. But nonetheless, I did. And here I sit. Wearing the bright pink V-neck shirt I bought from my job more than 2 years ago. Recently, I’ve moved and somehow this shirt keeps floating up to the top of my dresser drawer. The other day I thought “Why don’t I ever wear this? Super cute!” and threw it on with some yoga pants. Surprisingly I didn’t look absolutely horrible in it. I noticed when I bent over or to the side there was some visible rolls happening, but I didn’t care. After a particularly stressful day at work, I found myself whipping into Sonic for some good old fashioned comfort food. I knew when I did it that I was going to be disappointed in myself. Sitting in the drive through line, I remember thinking “I can just drive off right now. I don’t have to do this.” But *shocker* I didn’t. I waited and got my food. When you’re thinking about cheating, you think about the hottest most wonderful meal you’ve ever had just melting in your mouth and your taste buds cheering. But in reality, that doesn’t happen. The food wasn’t fresh, it wasn’t hot, and it didn’t taste good. I instantly regretted my decision to cheat. And I knew my body was going to thank me for it appropriately. When I went to bed that night, I was already bloated. I could see oil on my face just half an hour after washing it in the shower. My stomach was churning, and I could feel the lethargy setting in. I went to bed as early as I could that night but unfortunately didn’t sleep well (this often happens when I don’t go to the gym after work). The next morning, I pulled on my jeans and boots and stood there trying to find a shirt. That’s when I saw it. The shirt. I had never worn it to work before for the plain fact that I knew I wasn’t very confident while wearing it. But an idea flashed through my mind – Wear the shirt today while you’re bloated and think about how it makes you feel the next time you want to cheat. I pulled the shirt on and looked in the mirror. Worn over jeans, my body looked lumpier than the last time I wore it. But I grabbed my keys and headed out anyway. Two things happened on the day I wore the shirt. First was the expected – I was less confident. Walking past mirrors, I would catch a glance of myself and grimace at how bloated I looked. How round and lumpy I felt. I saved this feeling. I wanted to remind myself of this the next time I thought about cheating. The second thing that happened was completely unexpected, and I’m very proud of myself for this – I felt at peace with my cheat. Yes, I looked bloated. But even in my bloated state, I looked better than I did when I started my fitness journey. Hell, I looked better than I did when I bought the shirt in 2013. It didn’t take me one day to lose all that weight, and I certainly wouldn’t gain it all back in one day. I encourage you to find the shirt in your closet. Find something relatively old, maybe a little snug. Wear it after a cheat meal, and see how it effects your day. I know that I’ve been much more mindful about how my cheats will affect me since my experience. Feel free to comment your feedback!
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As I’ve said before in my blog posts, I frequently share my weight loss journey on social media. Instagram has to be my favorite platform – I share on Facebook mainly for the benefit of my friends and family. Out of the two, I’ve received the most support and one-on-one validation from Facebook. People will comment something kind, or message me telling me that they really enjoy seeing my journey. I can’t explain how much every like, comment, and message means to me. I see them ALL and they all touch my heart, but at the same time, I know I’m reaching more people on Instagram. Hashtags are really magical things.
I share my journey, not for validation or recognition, but in the hopes of inspiring someone to start or continue their weight loss journey. As a beginner, the only thing I had guiding me was the Instagram posts of strangers. I’ve mentioned a few (but not all) of them in a previous blog post, “Looking for Inspiration?”. Two of my favorite accounts that I didn’t mention are @thelovelyaphrodite and @sunshinesjourney. The reason I didn’t choose to include these accounts is because for a beginner, these accounts may come across as overwhelming. Both account do regular shoutouts for other fitness accounts, and as a beginner, it was hard for me to develop an idea of their true account because they were doing so many shoutouts. But I’m not a beginner anymore. I look forward to the shoutouts, and I actually end up following most of the featured accounts. Anyway. Back to me. A few weeks ago (three weeks ago I believe), I decided to post a #transformationtuesday picture in the hopes of getting a shoutout from @thelovelyaphrodite. I had never asked for a shoutout before, so I wasn’t exactly sure how it worked. I followed all of the instructions as best I could, and though my picture received a lot of likes, I wasn’t recognized by The Lovely Aphrodite. Until yesterday. Yesterday I was having a rather shitty day. I was sitting at my desk, pouting, trying to distract myself by doing actual work, when my phone went off. The Lovely Aphrodite had liked my post from three weeks ago! I felt like a celebrity. She actually saw my photo! Some more time went by, and my phone went off again, only this time, she had FOLLOWED me! My account, with only 6 hundred something followers, was now being watched by someone who had inspired so many people (36 thousand to be exact). I was over the moon. I sent a screenshot to my best friend, who was excited as well. And then, the unthinkable happened. I got a notification saying that The Lovely Aphrodite had tagged me in a photo! I couldn’t unlock my phone fast enough. Sure enough, right there on my timeline, was MY FACE featured by one of my FAVORITE fitness accounts in the universe. I was crying. I was jumping up and down. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I immediately posted the good news on Facebook, then Instagram. I was so ecstatic. I was gaining followers by the minute. I cried some more. Yesterday was amazing, definitely one for the books (or, ahem, blog). I am so happy that because of The Lovely Aphrodite, I was able to reach 36 thousand people, some of whom were inspired enough to follow my account. It’s an amazing feeling to feel like you’re making a difference. And hopefully this is just the beginning for me. We all know carbs are something to avoid if you’re trying to lose weight. Things like white bread, tortillas, and potato chips understandably get a bad reputation. But if you’re trying to make long-term changes for the better of your body, it’s important to eat meals you actually enjoy eating. With that being said –
This past weekend I found myself at HEB, looking at fresh tortillas to bring home. I had two options – ‘butter tortillas’ which were white tortillas, or ‘whole wheat tortillas’ which were darker in color. I had never had whole wheat tortillas, so I wasn’t sure if I would like the texture or not. Naturally, you would assume that the whole wheat tortillas would be a significantly healthier option. But being a picky eater and being on the fence about trying a new food, I decided to look at the nutritional information before I made my decision. One white tortilla contained 110 calories, while one whole wheat tortilla contained 105 calories, a measly 5 calories less. Yes, 5 calories. The number of calories in the stick of gum you’re chewing. If there were something like a 25 calorie deficit, I would feel a little more inclined to opt for the obviously healthier whole wheat tortillas. But since we’re talking about a difference of 5 teeny tiny calories, I went for the ‘butter tortillas’ which I already knew I enjoyed eating. I’ve noticed subtle differences like this in several products. Tortillas, pretzals, and cheeses are all good examples of products where the “healthier” options don’t offer a significant nutritional difference. In cases like these, it’s best to just go with what you know. Every morsel that goes into your mouth is sacred. What’s 10 more calories? I’d take a delicious product with 10 more calories, over a nasty grainy product of 10 fewer calories, any day of the week. Do you remember the first day at your very first job? How about the first time you ever went to a gym? How about the first time you ever received a paycheck, or when you got your first car?
Moments like these happen every single day, all around us. You may not notice them or recognize them for what they are, but they are happening. Something I struggle with is the idea that everyone starts. Starts working, starts earning money, starts working out, starts driving. You can’t judge the first-timer working out next to you at the gym. You can’t snicker at the new girl in your office for not knowing how to work the copy machine. And you can’t judge people on Facebook for getting their first paycheck and expressing their pride. At one point, YOU were all of those people. Channel your negative energy into a smile, or a friendly wave. Don’t you remember how scary it is to start something? When I was eating a higher amount of calories, between 1000 and 1200, I had no problem losing weight and powering through my workouts. But as you guys know, a few weeks ago I got braces put on my teeth. As a result, I had to go down to a very restricted diet of only liquids (mainly soups and milkshakes). During those first weeks, I was experiencing a high amount of pain and was restricted from eating the diet foods I had come to know and love. Even so, I was losing weight because I kept going to the gym. Even if my visits only lasted 30 minutes at most.
Last week, I meal prepped on Sunday like I always do, but I noticed a major difference. The foods I had prepared for myself were very low in calories and other nutrients. I didn’t think much of it, because hello, less calories in = less calories that can cause you to gain weight. I thought it was a win-win situation! But I’m here to say, I was wrong. Because I was eating fewer calories than I’m supposed to, my body didn’t have the nutrients it needed to make any more energy than was required for me to function. As a result, I was constantly tired. I still went to the gym every day, but I don’t think I did more than 30 minutes at a time. At the end of the week, I weighed in like I always do. But for the first time, I saw an increase, and not just a few ounces. Two and a half whole pounds. I shrugged it off, saying it was probably my scale or I had set it on an uneven bit of floor. I didn’t think much of my gain over the weekend, and on Monday morning I stepped back on the scale again. Only this time, I was a full eight pounds heavier than my lowest weight exactly a week before. I was shocked. Everything you’ve heard about bad eating habits is true. During the week, my body had gone into starvation mode because it barely had fuel to function. And when I finally ate like a normal person (over the weekend), it immediately stored all of that food because it was anticipating that it would starve again in the near future. There’s no telling how much irreversible damage I did to my metabolism last week. Previous to last week, my body had settled into a very regular cycle of eating, digesting, and fueling. This week, I can tell that my energy levels are lower as my body readjusts to my normal eating habits. I know I haven’t posted much this week. Being eight pounds heavier has taken its toll on me. That’s eight pounds I desperately fought to lose, that I now have to lose all over again because of my own ignorance. I hope all of my readers take this into consideration. Don’t deprive your body of the fuel it needs to survive! Food to your body is like gas to your car. I know I learned my lesson. This is a theme I’ve seen repeating throughout my entire life. Everyone wants the end result, but no one wants to earn it. People want big homes, nice cars, meaningful relationships. But those same people won’t stay a few minutes late to finish a project. Those same people won’t go out on the weekends or go out of their way to speak to the guy smiling at them across the coffee shop.
Don’t spend your life with things that make you unhappy. Don’t spend your life waiting for things to magically get better. You’re just cheating yourself out of something potentially amazing! If you have goals, work for them. Put in the work to make your dreams a reality. In real life, there aren’t any shortcuts, magic pills, or handouts. Just hard work, sweat, and determination. One of the first things I changed about my lifestyle when I started trying to lose weight was increasing my water intake. “They” say you need to drink half your body weight in oz of water every day. So, if you weight 150 lbs, you’re supposed to drink 75 oz of water a day. If you weigh 200 lbs, you’re supposed to drink 100 oz of water a day. If you weigh 250 lbs, you’re supposed to drink 125 oz of water a day. (Some products like pre-workout suggest your drink at least 125 oz of water a day no matter what your weight, in order for their product to be effective. If you take any supplements, please make sure to check the container for information like this in order to achieve the maximum effect.)
In the beginning, I absolutely could not hit my goal. I could drink maybe 80 oz of water a day, and I was constantly bloated and rushing to the bathroom. But within a week, I was drinking 128 oz of water a day (four of my 32 oz water bottles filled up to the top). The bloating went away and I my bladder started cooperating so I wasn’t rushing to the restroom out of nowhere every 45 minutes. BUT I SAID ALL THAT to say this. Since the beginning, I wake up super thirsty. I wake up and the first thing I think about is WATER. This is truly a brand new experience for me because I have never craved water before. Water has never ever been my drink of choice, so for me to crave water is a really weird thing. Sometimes, like this morning, I even wake up feeling nauseous (normally this happens after a cheat meal) and water helps SO much. Still, I’m not sure why I crave it in the mornings. Over time, I’ve noticed that I am less thirsty during my workout, so where I used to drink 32 oz or more at the gym now I drink between 16 and 24. And when I leave the gym, I switched to low-calorie Gatorade where I used to drink a protein supplement. I get home and I’m in bed within an hour, and I’m really bad about drinking water during that hour, I assume because by that time I’ve already met my water goal for the day. If you are like me and wake up craving water, I highly encourage you to drink a bottle (the bigger the better) while you’re getting ready or commuting to work. Not only does it start your metabolism early in the day, but also, you’ve got nothing on your stomach when you first wake up. This is beneficial because you can drink a TON of water! I have a 32 oz water bottle that I leave in the fridge overnight and drink on the way to work in the morning. I drink 32 oz before I even start my day! That’s more then ¼ of my suggested intake! I really encourage everyone to drink as much water as they can, especially if you’re trying to lose weight. As your body gets used to the water, you will notice your skin becoming more clear and less oily, as well as more regular bowel movements. There are a ton of other benefits that you can find if you search online, but those were the things I noticed right away. Has anyone else experienced morning thirst like this? Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email rawrimafitnessaur@yahoo.com. Friday, May 22nd was just another day for me. I went to work, I ate a doughnut on break, I joked around with my boss, and I went to the gym after work. I was on the phone with my Dad as I pulled into the parking lot, and I remember telling him “I’ll call you back in about 30 minutes. I’m going to do my mile and maybe a few minutes on the stair master.”
I entered the gym, which was deserted because it was early on a Friday afternoon. There were some nice women in the locker room, we chatted as I changed clothes. I walked out to the floor and as I climbed on the treadmill, the song “Mama’s Broken Heart” by Miranda Lambert played in my head. I don’t know why, but I turned that song on repeat instead of shuffling through my workout playlist like I normally do. I began running, and the first time I looked down I had already run .1 mile. I was impressed with myself. Normally I was already feeling the burn. I kept running, for some reason I didn’t feel the need to stop for water at .25 mile as I normally do. The running continued, I was making myself take a drink at .5 mile when I got this crazy idea… “Maybe I can run more than one mile today.” I considered it briefly. I was still new to my daily mile runs, and most of the time I had to focus all my energy on not dying. I had never tried to run more than a mile at a time, and I hadn’t yet even started working on increasing my speed. Nonetheless, I couldn’t ignore the facts. My stamina was significantly heightened, as well as my endurance. I wasn’t gasping for breath or praying the distance meter would move faster. Even still, the idea that I could possibly push myself for more than a mile was astounding. I mentally made a resolution to myself – Just do what you can. Don’t kill yourself. Do what your body will let you do. From that point on, I was limitless. I focused on my footing, I kept tabs on my breathing. I payed extra attention to my left knee and hip, which both give me trouble from time to time. Before I knew it, a mile had passed. A mile and a half. Two miles. Two and a half miles. Three miles. At three miles it sank in – I ACTUALLY JUST RAN THREE MILES! I was ecstatic. A few happy tears ran down my face as I pushed even harder. I was fiercely sweating, something I normally don’t do. I could see the perspiration soaking through the fabric across my chest. I knew I was going to have to quit soon, and I decided 4 miles would be my stopping point for the day. I increased my speed as I prepared to run my last mile. The gym was filling up, and everyone who checked in looked at me. I was running my ass off, sweating like a maniac, and I felt great. I stopped my treadmill at 4 miles, with a time of 57 minutes and 30 seconds. I ran the first three miles at the speed 4.2, and the last mile at 4.3. I finished my run and I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a certain pep in my step as I walked back to the locker room. I gathered my stuff and left, I immediately called my Dad and said “You’re never gonna believe this, but I just ran four miles.” I only had time to call him and my Aunt Lila before the nausea hit me. I actually had to pull into a McDonalds on the way home because I thought I was going to vomit. My spit was flowing out from my mouth like water. I was weak, dizzy. It passed and I drove the rest of the way home. My sister came outside to help me carry my bags in, because I didn’t know if I would physically be able. I made my way to the bathroom and crouched by the toilet, but wasn’t nauseous anymore. I picked up my things and went into the living room to greet everyone, which was when the next wave of nausea hit me. I ran to the restroom and barely pulled the lid up before I started projectile vomiting. Luckily I was still on a mostly liquid diet, so I wasn’t too labored. Feeling better, I went into the living room and decided to make dinner. As it cooked, I started feeling worse and worse. I drank water while I could, knowing that I desperately needed to rehydrate. By the time the food was ready, I could barely hold my head up. I literally forced myself to eat, one bite at a time. Each bite I forced made me nauseous and was a struggle to get down. I made it through my bowel and a half hour later I was back to myself. In retrospect, I do not regret running four miles. I do regret not immediately rehydrating myself, and not eating more throughout the day to fuel my run. I have decided not to try to run four miles every single day. Once a month, maybe. For now, I will stick to a two-mile run daily and focus on improving my time for two miles. I didn’t know when I walked into the gym Friday that I’d be running four miles. Never in my life did I think I’d be able to run two, let alone three. Four? It never even crossed my mind. I can’t tell you why I had so much energy that day, or why my breathing was controlled from the start or what made me power through and actually complete a nonstop four mile run. All I can tell you is that it was worth it. I shattered a goal I never even knew I had. Sure I was sick that night, of course I was sore the next day. But it was completely worth every single step. As I've said in some of my previous posts, I struggled with my weight for most of my life. I was never unhappy enough to develop an eating disorder or consider a surgery to correct my weight, but I definitely struggled with my size. I struggled with other things too - my teeth, my hair, my athletic ability. All of my insecurities weighed on me as a teenager and into adulthood. One day I woke up and decided that I didn't want to have these things weighing me down anymore. I didn't want these physical imperfections to have control over the way I felt about myself. So I changed. Just like that. Somewhere in the cosmos, a switch flipped and all of a suddent I had the courage to make changes in my life.
Change is obviously a process; it's not something that just happns overnight. Slowly and surely I'm making changes that make me happy. I'm on a weight loss journey, which is making me smaller and more athletic. I recently got braces on my teeth to straighten them, and I'm in the process of growing out my hair. For the next year or so, I'll be "under construction". But every single day I'm getting closer to being the person I truely want to be. I want to encourage you all to search for that same courage within yourself. Whether you are unsatisfied with your mental state, your physical appearance, or your relationship status, you are the only person who can motivate yourself to make changes for the better. Invest in youself, invest in your happiness. You will thank yourself later. Let me clarify a little on my last post.
It is okay to make an excuse if that excuse will get you out of an activity that is inconvenient or will bring you long-term unhappiness or discomfort. It is never okay to make an excuse to exempt yourself from something that will have a positive effect on you. When I began my fitness journey, all I had were excuses. “I don’t have time” was my favorite, because I worked 60 hours or more a week. It was easy to justify skipping a workout by saying “It’s going to hurt” or “I don’t want to mess up my hair” or “I want to go straight home and go to sleep”. I was only hurting myself with these excuses. I knew what I needed to do, and I used every excuse in the book not to do it. Today, I have trouble distinguishing between real legitimate excuses and the excuses I make to avoid pushing myself. For example, at my work out on Saturday, I avoided going on the stair machine because “It will make my knee hurt”. I had to take a step back and decide if this was an excuse I was making to stay in my comfort zone, or if it would actually cause me physical pain. I took a chance, and it turned out to be just another of my useless excuses. I did 15 flights (I think – don’t hold me to that) before I tapped out. I did not experience any serious physical pain other than the burn I love so much, and I will definitely be returning to that machine today. |
I already know what happens when I give up. I want to see what will happen if I don't. Archives
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