I’ve been told so many times “You should look into being a personal trainer” and every time I laugh a little bit harder. People are saying that to me now because I’ve lost so much weight, and because obviously I know a little bit about getting in shape. My body has changed, yes, but my personality hasn’t changed at all. I’m not (suddenly) this kind person with soft edges who has the power to encourage you to do anything you set your mind to. In fact, I’ve got even more of a no bullshit attitude NOW than I had when I started.
Two years ago, a few months after my first attempt to get healthy (which mostly failed), I found a girl named Mary on Instagram. She was from the northeast, she was a former soldier who was now a trainer. I started following her and so many times I talked with her about getting healthy and working out and eating right. You don’t really need to know about my friend Mary. But if she were here, she would tell you about all the excuses I gave her for YEARS before I decided to start taking my health seriously.
If I were to ever become a trainer, which I won’t, I would absolutely HATE to have a client like me. Someone with a never ending stream of excuses about how they couldn’t (or WOULDN’T) compromise for their results. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.
I posted a status on Facebook the other day and I’ll re-post it here. It said –
This is why I can’t be a trainer. This shit right here. Excuse me as I rant: If you come to me for advice or suggestions, I’ll stop what I’m doing to help you – all day, any day, no problem. However. If your immediate response to my two cents is to tell me how that’s not something you can work into your life, I’m not gonna try to argue with you. I physically cannot. I just say “okay” and go along with my life. That, to me, says “I’ve already decided to continue what I’m doing and hope things work out in my favor.” That says “I’m unwilling to compromise my lifestyle to get the results I want.” And I simply cannot argue with that level of ignorance. Sorry if this is offensive to anyone. I’m ignorant intolerant.
I was that person with all the excuses. I was that person who would get hype about “changing my life”, just to give up when I didn’t drop 60 pounds overnight. I was that person who didn’t like vegetables or most fruits, so I thought I would never be able to diet or eat clean. I was all of these people, and more. I’ve overcome that. Now I know, that all of those excuses were just that – excuses. Now I know that results don’t happen overnight. I know how to eat clean in a way that my body responds well to. I can’t fight those demons in someone else because I’ve just figured out how to fight them in myself.
That’s why they call this a Fitness JOURNEY. Because it’s a long road! And because you learn new things all along the way; about yourself, about your body, about your emotional attachment to food, about your limits… And once you learn those things, they change! Limits change, attachments change, and bodies definitely change. At the end of the day, I’m still on my own fitness journey and right now I don’t ever think I’ll ever know this road well enough to give directions.
However, there is one area where I’m completely confident giving advice, planning, and helping people to understand - and that’s meal prep. I’m so good at it, in fact, that I offer it as a service. I started doing this a while ago, and I have clients all over the United States that come to me for their completely customized meal plans. I don’t do this as a way to make money, but the fact of that matter is that there’s a lot of work and calculation that goes into creating a meal plan for someone. Everyone is different. Everyone needs a certain number of calories to keep their bodies going. Every eats at different times throughout the day. Sometimes people need more calories during certain times of the month (looking at the ladies). Some people need to eat 5 meals a day, others only need 1 meal and several snacks.
The point is, meal plans are not 'one size fits all'. Everyone likes different foods, different textures. These are all things I take into consideration when creating one of my meal plans. I’m still accepting clients, so if you’re interested in what you’ve read about today, click here to create an email. I’ll get back to you within the hour. If you want more information, click here to check out my Meal Plan FAQs.
Let me clarify a little on my last post.
It is okay to make an excuse if that excuse will get you out of an activity that is inconvenient or will bring you long-term unhappiness or discomfort.
It is never okay to make an excuse to exempt yourself from something that will have a positive effect on you.
When I began my fitness journey, all I had were excuses. “I don’t have time” was my favorite, because I worked 60 hours or more a week. It was easy to justify skipping a workout by saying “It’s going to hurt” or “I don’t want to mess up my hair” or “I want to go straight home and go to sleep”. I was only hurting myself with these excuses. I knew what I needed to do, and I used every excuse in the book not to do it.
Today, I have trouble distinguishing between real legitimate excuses and the excuses I make to avoid pushing myself. For example, at my work out on Saturday, I avoided going on the stair machine because “It will make my knee hurt”. I had to take a step back and decide if this was an excuse I was making to stay in my comfort zone, or if it would actually cause me physical pain. I took a chance, and it turned out to be just another of my useless excuses. I did 15 flights (I think – don’t hold me to that) before I tapped out. I did not experience any serious physical pain other than the burn I love so much, and I will definitely be returning to that machine today.
How many times have you caught yourself talking your way out of plans? I know I do it all the time. When faced with an outing with friends or a night of dancing, I find myself making up excuses like “I really don’t want to go out until after my hair appointment next week” or “I don’t want to be seen with this huge zit on my face” or my favorite “I’ll be too tired the next day and won’t feel like doing anything”. All of those excuses are valid points and might cause any reasonable person to ditch their Friday night plans in favor of Netflix or a hot bath, but what a lot of people don’t realize is how destructive these thoughts truly are.
When you start allowing a thought of what might be control what will be, you are contributing to your own self destruction.
For example: The excuse “I’ll be too tired the next day and won’t feel like doing anything”. You don’t know that for sure. Your group of friends might end up leaving early and you could end up going to bed at a usual time. Or maybe you will stay out late and lose a few hours of sleep. During that time you will be surrounded by people you enjoy being around, and the memories you make in that night will last much longer than the tiredness you feel the next morning.
Another example: “I really don’t want to go out until after my hair appointment next week”. How do you know there is every going to be a hair appointment next week? Things happen, and even cosmetologists call in sick every now and again. What if you don’t end up going to your hair appointment for two weeks? Not only have you missed a chance to see your friends, but you’ve passed up the chance to make valuable new memories and maybe even meet some new friends. And plus, all of these people have probably already seen you with roots extending an inch from your scalp – why should this particular time be forbidden?
I had potential plans on Saturday night, and found myself using the excuse “I don’t want anyone to see my braces”. While I was waiting to find out the rest of the details, I decided that my excuse was really really stupid. What, am I just going to avoid public outings for the next year? What kind of sense does that make? My plans ended up falling through, but I decided that I wouldn’t allow my appearance to hold me back from life any more. There are so many things that can hold you back if you let them: your height, your weight, bra size, shoe size, financial situation, etc. Do not allow yourself to be restricted by things that most people won’t notice or care about.
I already know what happens when I give up. I want to see what will happen if I don't.