I am finally back in a place where I am looking forward to every single meal and workout.
And to tell you the truth, I could not be happier. It has been a long few months, and I guess you could consider it a plateau. I’ve been floating between 183 and 193 since the middle of December and it’s now the middle of March. So I’ve been “in a plateau” for four months now. It’s not that I stopped working out or I stopped meal prepping. I was still doing everything I had been doing previously. My problem was the binge eating and the low intensity workouts.
I was still able to make myself go to the gym and follow my meal prep during the day. At night and on weekends, I can’t say that the same is true. It became easier for me to justify unhealthy food like ice cream and breakfast pastries from Starbucks and doughnuts. It became easier for me to say “I’ve run a mile, that’s enough.” I wasn’t challenging myself, and therefore I wasn’t changing myself.
Giving up was never an option for me. Although I could see myself living happily at my current weight, I still have my ultimate goal of being 100 lbs down. Even if it’s just for the day, I want to earn the right to say “I lost 100 lbs”. Of course I would have liked to hit that goal months ago, but I never gave up. I think I had to struggle and really learn to appreciate the process before I could move past my plateau.
I’m not really sure what changed. I’m not really sure what I said or did or saw or heard that put me in this place where suddenly, I’m ME again. I wish I could tell you guys. Share my “secret”. But there isn’t one. Last week I was practically sobbing at the idea of forcing myself to go to the gym. This week, I’m sobbing because I have to take a day off. I don’t know, man. I just know that I fell back in love with this process. With the sweat and the prepped meals and the dirty yoga pants and most importantly the results.
This has been quite the learning experience, though. I now know that it’s easy as fuck to maintain your weight. You may float plus or minus 5 pounds depending on the day, but you can pretty much eat whatever you want as long as you’re still going to the gym (even for a little). I cannot WAIT to be at that point permanently. Omg. My mouth is watering just thinking about all the amazing food I’ll get to enjoy again!
I have about 20 pounds to go before I hit my final goal. I’m giving myself a time frame of two months. By the end of May, I have every intention of hitting my 100 lb goal and making the transition into strength workouts and maintenance. Cardio will always be my first love, but I can’t wait to be swole.
If you took the time to read this rambling blog, I want to say Thank You. You’re one of the many reasons I keep going. My readers here, my followers on Instagram, my Snapchat buddies, and my lifelong friends on Facebook have all been a huge part of my motivation. I hear all the time how you guys think I’m inspiring, or motivating, or amazing. Really, it’s you all. You keep me going on my bad days. I push, for you. So thanks :)
I already know what happens when I give up. I want to see what will happen if I don't.